Black is out because purple is the new black but just for the Fall.
Mr. Mom is not just a movie anymore it is the new thing.
Thin models are out and the natural everyday model is in.
The old is the new.
These are this month's headlines...I wonder which ones will be old news by October. I don't know about you, but keeping up with the world takes too much time and effort. And just when you have it...it changes. It makes me want to scream!!
We have chosen to let the world and those in the world influence us. We want to know what to do, what to think and how to look. So, we read books and magazines; watch Dr. Phil, Oprah and the latest design show; or we just google it. But some of those influences are taking our eyes off the truth. The enemy is filling us with lies. I am not talking about the new black for the season. (That is probably just someone pulling a color out of a hat.) I am talking about those influences that lead you to make choices that cause you to take your eyes off Christ and add stress to your life.
Section 1
Influence on our Personal roles
The world definitely tries to influence us and who we are supposed to be. In the fifties, the woman was a happy homemaker until the feminist movement and then we wanted equality, then we took it further. We were going to be Wonder Woman and be moms, wives, a career professional and look good while we did it all. While the men have been told to be the main provider (sometimes only provider) of the family. But now it is hip to be a Mr. Mom. I don't know about you, but the world confuses me.
We have to choose not to let the world influence our roles and who we are. All, well at least most of us, have some part of us that wants to please people, wants to be cool, wants what others have or wants to be like someone else. Consequently, we began to make our choices based on these influences. So we end up stressed trying to measure up to someone, killing ourselves trying to have it all, or trying to make everyone else happy. Then we find ourselves in the cycle of stress that leads to our messy lives that leads to more stress.
So how do we choose to get out of that cycle? First we have to be honest with ourselves and ask ourselves some questions.
1.Why am I trying to carrying so much on my plate?
2.Who am I modeling or striving to be?
3.Am I choosing to do these things for others or because I feel I have to help?
4.Are my choices influenced by my desire to feed my own pride? (gulp)
5.Who/what is influencing how I prioritize my choices?
I will give you a few minutes to really think about those answers. Please be honest and don't justify any choices. Open and honest answers.
Here are some possible answers:
1. We carry so much on our plate because the world told us we can do it all; we were made to feel guilty because we can't say no to a church activity; the word no is not in our vocabulary; spending habits have led to debt and you have to work full time; you want the lifestyle for you and your family because you believe it will make you happy...
2. Our best friend, the person who sits in front of us at church every week, our co-worker, sister, spouse, a TV character, the perfect person in our head
3. I am Christian so I have to help everyone all the time and do everything at church. If I say no, I will lose friends. I have to work this job so my family can have it all.
4. If I give more, I am still a good person. If I buy all these things for my kids, I will look like a good mom. If I take on all these roles, people will be amazed and want to be me.
5. It is all church activities so it is okay we have no family time. The world says I need the bigger house and my kids need all that stuff. My kids want all these things so I have to work to give it to them.
Does some of this sound ridiculous when you say it aloud? Are you shaking your head because you let yourself be influenced? Or maybe you are still arguing and justifying your choices and how it will get better.
It is time to go back to the truth. We were chosen by God. God gives each one of us talents/gifts. We are part of a body, not the whole thing. We are to be training our children in the Lord. If we are married, we belong to our spouse and our spouse to us. We each have roles in that marriage and as parents. We have responsibility to care for those who cannot care for themselves in our family.
What should be our choices?
1.Choose to use your talent/gift for God (1 Corinthians 12)
2. Choose to be your part of the Body of Christ not everyone else's. (1 Corinthians 12)
3.Choose to make training your child a priority not an option at the bottom of the list (Deut 6:7-9, Proverbs 22:6)
4. Choose to make time with your spouse a priority(Eph 5:22-33)
5.Choose to fulfill your role in your marriage (Eph 5:22-33)
6. Choose not to be influenced by anything other than God and those He may use to speak (that does not mean just anyone at church)
What have you added to your life that you don't need or have put as a priority? What are you doing that maybe someone else has been called to do? What sacrifice has your family made because of your choices? Let's stop the cycle.
Your assignment is:
1. Learn your spiritual gift so you can choose to use it
2. Train your child today even if something else has to be bumped
3. Pray with your spouse and have some coffee or ice cream together
4. Know your role and look for ways you fulfill it and ways you don't
5. Spend time listening to God while you seek His will for how you spend your time and days (look in His Word)
6. Be willing to get rid of some of the mess in your life and prioritize your schedule. And stop doing what you don't have to do or are not called to do.
If you are struggling with what needs to go or how to balance it more, please email me or share with a comment and let's see if we can get rid of some of the stress.
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