Choosing to have Spiritual Training in the home

If we were to evaluate time, money and energy spent on you child, what would you be spending it on? Sports, Academics, Music, Video games, computers, anything to keep them out of your hair? Did you even think about their spiritual lives? If each one of us spent as much time, money and energy on our children's spiritual training as we do on other things for them, what would this next generation be like?

"4 Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God, the LORD is one. 5 Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. 6 These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. 7 Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. 8 Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. 9 Write them on the door frames of your houses and on your gates." Deuteronomy 6:4-9

In the movie, "My Big Fat Greek Wedding", the main character talked about how she never was a girl scout because she had to go to Greek school. She was immersed in her Greek heritage. Maybe we should be a little more like the crazy dad and use every opportunity to teach and train in God's Word. It should be the most important thing to us as parents.

Kids start at a younger age in athletics, dance and music training. Parents start their three year old in it so by the time they are seven maybe they will be an all star or first string in high school. What if we choose to make their spiritual training important from the start so they will be prepared when they get in upper elementary and definitely prepared for the teen years. If God's truth has not been impressed on them, it will make those years difficult.

We have to choose from a young age to schedule time and provide the resources to train our child(ren). If you have not chosen it in the past, you must choose to start now. It cannot wait anymore. It is not an option. You have to choose to schedule time to be home together so you can train them. You have to choose to make this more important than homework and extra curricular activities. You have to choose to show you care about the most important part of your child's future, their relationship with Christ.

Think a minute about your own childhood. Did you have any spiritual training? Was your training being dropped off at the church? Did you have to get yourself to church? Did you even know your parents cared about your spiritual training? Was dinner time the only time you prayed as a family? Do you wish someone would have made your relationship with Christ the most important thing? Do you wish it would have been impressed on you from a very young age?

You can choose to start a cycle of being a Deuteronomy 6 parent. You can choose to make your child's walk with Christ the most important thing in their life. But you have to choose to make it a priority with your time (schedule), money and energy.

1. Choose to schedule a daily time of praying and reading an age appropriate devotional.

Read it to them or as they get older let them read it and discuss it.

2. Choose to provide materiel for their training.

You can purchase books, go online or buy cd's.

www.biblegateway.com is perfect for a teen who lives on the computer. It is a bible online and even has a mobile phone version.

Preschool and early elementary: "My Very First Devotional Bible", "Sweet Dreams Princess", God's Little Princess Devotional Bible" (I think there is one for boys too.)

Older Elem: Bible Magazines have great reading plans and devotionals, "Mean Girls"

Teenagers: "7 Minutes With God" (there are more in the series), Every Young Man's (or young Woman's) Battle

Check to see if your church's curriculum had resources for parents to buy to supplement at home.

3.Choose to sit down at home to pray and talk about God.

We all want our child to be the next great athlete, musician or genius. But please want most of all for your child to have an active, growing relationship with Christ.

4. Choose to free up your schedule so you can train your child.

You may have to give up a TV show, only have one extra curricular activity for your child or yourself. You have to choose to schedule around school; why would their spiritual training be any less.

5. Choose to do the most important thing for your child.

You want to... now choose to.

Choosing to make your kitchen a place of refuge, teaching and service

I love our kitchen. It is a place where so much happens. It is a place of fun, laughing, conversations, prayer, teaching and serving. It all happens while preparing a meal, sitting down to eat as a family and during clean up. Some of my favorite conversations have happened while boiling noodles.

If you are not having a sit down family meal, you are truly missing out. It is a choice I beg of you to make as much as possible during the week and/or the weekends. It may be the only time you have each others undivided attention. It is a choice that will impact you and your family. It is a choice that brings you together with your family. Once you choose to have a sit down dinner, you then choose to make the most of that time.

1. Choose to make your kitchen table a place of refuge
Taking time to sit, talk and eat together can bring a calmness to a hectic day. It provides a time to talk about the silly and serious subjects of the day. It lets each member of the family know that he/she will have a time to speak and be listened to. The kitchen table becomes a safe zone of communication. And if your family schedule is too busy to sit down and eat together, do not scratch the family dinner off your list each night. Find at least three times to sit down together and eat. Rearrange your schedule around the dinner even if you have to pick up food to eat occasionally. Please just choose to sit down at your table and eat together.

2. Choose to make your kitchen a place to teach and serve
The kitchen is the perfect classroom. You can teach matching, counting, etiquette, addition, subtraction, cooking, measuring, etc.
No matter what the age, you can have quality time with each other while dinner is being prepared. Even the littlest one can count out the forks and napkins. It is a perfect opportunity to have quality time with your child. You can choose to fix dinner and still enjoy your child. Depending on their age they can count out napkins, set the table to help prepare the food. If a child realizes they can have that one on one time with a parent, they will be there to help often and will chase others away. It is another opportunity to talk in a safe place. It is a fun way to bond and teach skills they need.
The kitchen is the best place to serve together. It is so important our children learn to care for their family and that the family can work together. When dinner is over it is not time for everyone to go their separate ways. Keep conversations going while you clear the table, rinse or wash the dishes, wipe the table and sweep up the floor. According to age split up the clean up and work together. It doesn't have to seem like a chore instead make it an extension of your family dinner by cleaning up together. You get to finish important conversations, teach the importance of a family working together and have a clean kitchen all in one. In the beginning teenagers may fuss, but once they realize you are still listening to them it doesn't seem like such a big deal to help out.

We only have a short amount of time with our children. They grow up quickly. Choosing to teach and talk to them as much as possible is very important. Creating a place safe for them to talk is very important. Choosing to let them know you listen is crucial. No matter what age they are, we can choose to open the door to communication. So choose to sit down, eat, laugh talk and listen at your kitchen table. Your child may not be the only one learning something.

Homework
1. Look at scripture and see how often Jesus spoke and taught at the dinner table.
2. Schedule family dinners, breakfast or brunch
3. Start talking to a member of your family while preparing dinner and then ask them to help you (but keep talking)
4. Talk, listen and pray at dinner
5. Keep conversations going while getting everyone to help clean up.
6. Choose to make your home a place of refuge, teaching and service.

A place of refuge: Choosing to control the stuff in your home

6But godliness with contentment is great gain. 7For we brought nothing into the world, and we can take nothing out of it. 8But if we have food and clothing, we will be content with that. 9People who want to get rich fall into temptation and a trap and into many foolish and harmful desires that plunge men into ruin and destruction. 10For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil. Some people, eager for money, have wandered from the faith and pierced themselves with many griefs. 1 Timothy 6:6-10

It may not be a love of money, but it seems many have a love of stuff. We have bigger houses and either use our garage or a storage unit to store all the stuff that will not fit into our house. Closets are getting bigger to store all our clothes and shoes. (I even know of one that has a spiral stair case in the closet.) And we have so much stuff it drives us crazy because we have to pick it up or clean it. We have chosen to be stuck in this endless cycle. Another part of that cycle is instead of getting rid of anything or stop buying more stuff, we buy bigger houses so we can get more stuff. And the funniest part is we cannot take any of it with us when we die. It is time we choose to simplify our lives and homes. We must choose to simplify not just for us but for the next generation also. We must choose to stop the cycle.

Maybe a single guy who only has one plate, one fork, one knife, one spoon, one bowl and one cup is right. Just have what you need. Use it and wash it for the next time that way you don’t have a lot of dishes to wash. Keep it simple and you will not get overwhelmed. When you do not get overwhelmed you have less stress.

Before, we talked about the purpose of our homes. If we look at those purposes and choose to use them then our home becomes a place it should be.

If our home is a place of refuge…

1. We must choose to set it up as a place of refuge not a museum.

If your home is to be a place where your family and friends can come together then do not waste money on expensive items that you worry about something happening to. Decorate your house, but do it for comfort and fellowship not for show. People are going to remember your home as place that welcomed them not by the expensive painting.

2. We must choose to keep the laundry pile out of the living room and bedroom.

Why do we let the laundry control us? Most people's houses are ran by their laundry. A couple cannot enjoy their bedroom because the laundry has overtaken it. After a long day you cannot come home and sit because the laundry is already chilling on the couch.

Whether you stay at home, work or go to school, you can gain control of your laundry. You need to schedule your laundry and use a schedule that works with your personality. If you lose focus easily, don’t try to do all your laundry in one day. Here are a few options:

A. Schedule a daily load

This one is great if you work or can only focus for a short time. Pick an evening to sort all the dirty laundry. Make a schedule to do a different load each night. Throw the load in at night and either throw it in the dryer when done or the next morning on the way out the door. When you get home, you can put up the one load or assign it as a chore if you have kids. Repeat the next load the same way. It is simple. Wash while you sleep, dry while you work, put up one load when you get home. It is so simple to put up one load at a time instead of all laundry.

B. Tackle It All

If you are not focused this will not work for you. If you stay at home or have a day to devote to laundry, this one works. Sort all laundry, start with your smallest and quickest to dry load. Wash all your loads, saving biggest and longest to dry for last. If you arrange your loads correctly, you will save time and get done faster. As it comes out of the dryer, sort the laundry by person, closet or cabinet. Once all the laundry is done and sorted, put up one closet at a time. If the occupier of the closet is old enough have them put up their own clothes. It creates a nice flow and keeps it nice and organized.

C. Short on time or really behind

If you are really behind or have a really busy week you may need to do a one time trip to the laundry mat and get it all done quickly. One trip will get you caught up and then you can choose a laundry routine.

Just like everything else, we cannot try to get to our laundry. We will never want to do our laundry. We have to choose to schedule it and stick to a schedule that works for you.

We have a lot to cover over the next couple of days. But we will take it one step at a time.

Homework

1. Is your home a museum or refuge?

2. How can you make your home more of a refuge?

3. Choose to win the battle of the laundry.

4. Choose a laundry schedule that works for you.

If you need help scheduling, please let me know. I will help you find a schedule that works for you.

Reviewing Our Choices

I want to take a moment and review before we go any further. Are you still using the excuse that you are trying? Have you admitted that each day it is a choice? If you make a poor choice one day, do you give up or the next day do you make the wise choice? I want you to take this day by day. There are going to be days we make a bad choice. But the next day, the next hour, the next minute, we can make a better choice. We are changing our mind set from trying to I will choose. Stop and look back over your choices. Go back and reread any blog that you still struggle with making the wise choice.

1. Stop trying and choose
2. Choose God (put Him first)
3. Choose to be Physically Prepared (exercise, sleep, eat well)
4. Choose to make your home a place of worship, refuge, teaching and a place to serve.
5. Choose to make God your priority in your life, health and home.
6. Choose to let God influence your purpose in life
7. Choose to see who you are in Christ and that you are made in His image.
8. Choose to make your home a place of refuge by not filling it with the world
9. Choose Joy
10. Choose to be a godly influence with our lives, health and in our homes.

You can choose to change your life or stay stuck in the same old rut.

I look forward to continuing on this journey with you. We will be looking at some choices that have made our homes a mess over the next few days and what choices we need to make to clean up the mess.

Blog 7 Sec C: You cannot choose to be an influence, You are.

Yesterday I had a seventeen year old tell me he was too stupid to go to college. The reason he had come to this conclusion is because no one else in his family had even graduated high school. He will not even look at college because he believes and has been told by his own family they are not smart enough. His future was set from the beginning because of the influence of his family.

Today, I have two Algebra II classes. The first class has collectively decided to have a bad attitude and all did poorly on the test. One starts blaming the teacher and they all agree. The next class is doing well or striving to do well. They see fellow classmates succeeding so they all want to succeed.

Attitudes and futures are influenced by those we are with everyday. My question today: What influence are you having in your home on others in their spiritual life? Do they just hear the occasional talk of God or do they see faith in action? Is the only positive influence when you show up to church on Sunday mornings? Does your life reflect obedience to God or disobedience? What we do, how we act, and the attitudes we choose will influence them. What we choose to do in our homes has a daily impact on those in and by our homes. How will you choose to impact and influence?
Are you teaching them how to worship, how to pray, how to serve by your actions? Are you teaching them God’s word by discussion and by your walk? Are you even choosing to hold yourself accountable in your own walk so you are a godly influence?

I am going to be blunt. Taking your child to someone else at church every Sunday and Wednesday is not enough of an influence. Important, but not enough. Inviting your neighbor to church is not enough. Important, but not enough. Where we put God in our lives and homes are influencing those around us and the next generation.

We have to stop talking about praying and choose to pray in the moment and together. We have to choose to stop just going to worship and start worshiping in our homes. We have to stop talking about serving and start choosing to serve one another in our homes and together. We have to stop just talking about God’s word and start choosing to live according to it.

Think for a moment about your child or a child you may know. They are bombarded with peer pressure, TV, internet, video games for how many hours in a week? A couple of hours of church cannot compete with the influence of the world and individuals in it. As followers of Christ, whether you are a parent or not, we have got to be a positive influence on those in our homes and neighborhoods. We can no longer be quiet about our God in our homes.

“5 Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. 6 These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. 7 Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. 8 Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. 9 Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates.” Deut 6:5-8 (memorize this scripture. I will keep using it)

1. We must choose to pray together out loud and for one another.
We cannot just recite bedtime prayers. We need to pray out loud with those in our homes. We must encourage them to pray out loud too. Prayers may start short but as you pray together, and for one another, you will be amazed at even the youngest child’s prayer. Even if your teenager resists, they must at least pray a couple of sentences. Eventually they will become more comfortable.

2. We must choose to study God’s word together.
Individually we must do our own study. You can also do one as a family together or each person can discuss what they are learning in their own personal study. Also share what God is doing and how you see him working. It will help your child learn to see God, too.

"7 Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up." Deut 6:7

3. We must choose to worship together.
Please start your day in your house and car worshiping. Let them see you worship. Most of the time in your church the kids have their own worship and teenagers sit with friends. You must worship together in the home. The young ones will love it. Teenagers may resist but the words will be entering their minds and you will probably see them keeping with the music.
You can also quote scriptures of praise together or just shout out in the car things you are thankful for each day. They need to see you praising God on good and bad days.

"Worship the LORD with gladness; come before him with joyful songs." Psalm 100:2

4. We must choose to serve one another and serve others together.
Some things don’t just need to be chores. We need, by example and teaching, to show our children how to serve those in their own family and the importance of it. It is as simple as cleaning up from dinner together or picking up the house together. As a family we need to care for another.
We also need to stop dropping off our children for a service project or going by ourselves to one. We need to serve together. The holidays are a great time to start. You can take a meal to someone or go decorate someone’s house for Christmas who does not have the money or is not physically able. It will bring your family together and demonstrate the importance of caring for others.

"13You, my brothers, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the sinful nature; rather, serve one another in love. 14The entire law is summed up in a single command: "Love your neighbor as yourself." Galatians 5:13-14

"35For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, 36I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.'
37"Then the righteous will answer him, 'Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? 38When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? 39When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?' 40"The King will reply, 'I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me." Matthew 25:35-40

5. We must choose to live according to God’s word.
We can talk and talk about doing what is right, but if we are not demonstrating it…well it is a waste of breath. I might offend you for a moment, but know there our things in my own life I have to change also. We cannot ask our children to show respect and love to others when we ourselves show disrespect and hatred to others. We cannot ask our children not to curse if we choose not to do the same. We cannot ask our children to fill their minds with things of God when we fill our own with too much junk. We cannot ask our children to refrain from sex if as a single parent you do not choose the same. We cannot tell our children not to get drunk if we choose to get drunk. We have to realize the things we do may cause them to stumble. We are responsible for our actions and for training up our children.

"3We know that we have come to know him if we obey his commands. 4The man who says, "I know him," but does not do what he commands is a liar, and the truth is not in him. 5But if anyone obeys his word, God's love is truly made complete in him. This is how we know we are in him: 6Whoever claims to live in him must walk as Jesus did." 1 John 2:3-6

"9Anyone who claims to be in the light but hates his brother is still in the darkness. 10Whoever loves his brother lives in the light, and there is nothing in him to make him stumble. 11But whoever hates his brother is in the darkness and walks around in the darkness; he does not know where he is going, because the darkness has blinded him." 1 John 2:9-11

"31So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God. 32Do not cause anyone to stumble, whether Jews, Greeks or the church of God— 33even as I try to please everybody in every way. For I am not seeking my own good but the good of many, so that they may be saved." 1 Corinthians 10:31-33

6. We must choose to admit when we stumble.
If and when we do not live according to God’s word, then we must admit it. We may need to seek their forgiveness at times. If our mistakes are in the past, we may need to share the consequences of our own bad choices instead of saying, "because I said so." Imagine the impact if we talk about our mistakes, how God forgave us and what we learned or what we faced because of it.

Homework
1. Reread this again.
2. Confess your own sins as you read it.
3. Be honest about your walk with Christ.
4. Accept His forgiveness.
5. Cry out to Him.
6. Thank Him for those He has given you to influence.
7. Choose to put Christ first in your home.

Blog 7 Sec B: You can't choose to be an influence, You are

Many frustrations are shared on the news or talk shows that magazines are displaying images of females that are impossible for teenage girls to obtain. Many are frustrated that professional athletes use steroids and set a bad an example for our children. Some parents now choose not to let their daughters play with Barbies because it gives girls an unrealistic view of body image. While we have a right to be concerned, we cannot put responsibility on them. How are you influencing others, especially the next generation, on physical health? Keeping them from Barbies and magazines is not enough. We must set the example.


Again, I want to clarify that I am not talking just about weight and appearance. If your weight, whether too low or too much, is affecting your health then please seek professional help. Your life is too precious to God.


Whether you realize it or not, your eating habits, your exercise habits and your sleep habits are being watched. It may be your own child, a friend or a student in your class. Now, if your habits are so bad, they may choose to be healthier because they see the effects of your poor choices. But I think we would all whether choose to be an example of healthy eating, exercise and a good night's sleep.

Have you chosen to eat healthy except for the occasional fast food? Do you choose to sit down and eat or is the car your dinner table? Do you choose to get exercise in some form at least three days a week? Do you choose to get a full nights rest or function on as little sleep as possible? Do you choose to even notice the example and habits you are setting?


We have a problem in this world. Our next generation is at unhealthy weights before they finish elementary school. Our generation has chosen to influence and allow our children to form unhealthy habits. The next generation also has a huge body image issue. Girls are a size double zero and feel fat. They are skipping lunch at school. Today as I sub here at a high school, I will witness several girls not eat their lunch. We can no longer choose to do nothing, not only for our own health, but for the next generation's health. We have a responsibility as Christians to nurture and train those around us. Will you choose to be an example for the next generation?

It doesn't matter whether you have exercised a day in your life. It doesn't matter if you have eaten a fruit or veggie this week. It doesn't matter if you have been living on four hours of sleep. Today and each day after, you can choose to be an example.


If you struggle with food, whether it is over eating or under eating, you will have to make choices to correct those habits. If you struggle with doing anything but sitting on the couch after a long day, then you will have to make choices to get up and move. If you choose to stay up way too late, then you will have to choose to look at changing your schedule. And if you will not make changes for yourself, then choose to make these changes for those around you. Make them for that little blond haired, blue eyed kid who loves you and wants to be just like you.



1. Choose to sit down and eat.
Make dinner a time to sit and eat. Even if you have had a crazy, busy day, you need to stop and eat. On days I just do not feel like cooking or the schedule does not allow it, I may pick up something to eat. But I just get the main course and I take it home and pull out some fresh veggies, salad or fruit to go with it. We also drink something healthier at home. One, it saves money, but we still get the nutrients even on a crazy day.



2. Choose to keep junk out of the house.
I love chocolate. I have a severe weakness for it. I have to limit the amount I bring into the home because I will eat it. Choose to keep snacks that have some benefit to them and not keep on hand the things that will cause you to munch when you are stressed.



3. Choose to get moving and have fun.

Play tag outside with your kids, go for a walk, jump rope, go for a bike ride, sit on the floor and do exercises while watching TV. Just move and move with others so it is more fun. We have to find a way to enjoy exercise so others will want to enjoy it too.



4. Choose to schedule your sleep.
Give everyone in your house a bedtime including yourself. You know what time you have to get up. You know what has to be done before you go to bed. Schedule it and get the rest you need.



If we make choices to be healthier, we become better people. We are happier because we feel better with rest and the right nutrients. We are not only setting examples to be healthy but it is a lot easier to be joyful and loving when you are rested and healthy.

I could go in more detail about exercise and eating habits. But I know you probably know what you need to do. I just want to encourage you to choose to be a healthy example. If you need encouragement, just look at those younger ones around you; even the ones you do not know. As we set an example for others, they set an example for someone else. Your choice to be healthy may influence someone you do not know or that great great grandchild you may never know. Your choice can influence generations to come. So please choose to be healthy and have healthy habits not just for you but for others. Let's not gripe anymore about other influences, let's choose to become the influence.



Homework
1. Take time to notice who you are influencing

2. Look at changes you need to make to become a better influence

3. Choose to eat well today

4. Choose to exercise

5. Choose to go to bed and get a good night's rest.

Blog 7 Sec A: You can't choose to be an influence

We know we are influenced by the world around us. But my question is: "Do you realize who you are influencing?" Being an influence or setting an example is not a choice. We influence and set examples for those around us all the time. It is not a choice, but the kind of influence and examples you make are choices. So, will your life be an example of joy and peace or an example of complete mess and a lot of stress? Will your influence bless the next generation or cause it to stay in a cycle of sin?

(Before we go any further, I do not want you to condemn yourself for anything you have done or are doing. I want you to be sensitive to the conviction of the Holy Spirit. No matter what kind of influence you or I have been, we can make a choice to be a godly influence. Just look at Abraham, he is known for his faith and generations were blessed. But he made mistakes and made some poor choices like telling Pharaoh his wife was his sister. Yet, he is an example of faith in God. David is an example of someone who was a man after God's own heart. But he too made bad choices like adultery. Their bad choices did not stop them from being examples in faith or keep them from having a love for God. So no matter what choices you have made, you can choose to make the wise choices and be an example for Christ.)

Choosing to be an example in our personal walk with Christ

I love the story of my husband and his mom. Her influence and example on him came from things she did. He remembers as a young child when he would wake up early, his mom would be at the kitchen table reading her Bible. He saw his mom serve faithfully in the church his entire life. He witnessed her quiet and submissive spirit. He heard of God's faithfulness because her prayers for him started three years before he was born. He saw her faith in God when he had his diving accident. His mother was a godly example for him and his sisters. It was her personal relationship with Christ that influenced them.

If we are not choosing to put God as a priority in our own lives then we will never influence others to do the same. If we are not choosing God then we start to choose things that are not of God. Our influence becomes no different than the worlds. If we choose to carry all the burdens and stress on our own shoulders then we are not choosing to show others how God will take those burdens away. If we choose to live stressed out lives then our example keeps others from believing there is peace and hope in Christ.

We have got to choose to put God first and choose to have an active relationship with Him. We have to choose to hold ourselves accountable in our walk with Christ and in our daily lives. We are called to be a light in this world. It is time to choose to be one.

"13"You are the salt of the earth. But if the salt loses its saltiness, how can it be made salty again? It is no longer good for anything, except to be thrown out and trampled by men.
14"You are the light of the world. A city on a hill cannot be hidden. 15Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. 16In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven." Mathew 5:13-16

I want to make sure I am clear on one thing. I am not saying that you spend your five-ten minutes with God and then go tell everyone you did. We are not just supposed to go around talking about what we read or prayed or how many things we do at the church. I am talking about choosing to have such a close relationship with Christ that it is reflected to those around you.

This will not be easy, but let's be honest. If we were to ask family, friends, neighbors and most importantly our own children, what would they say about you, your personality, you attitude? Would they describe you as loving, forgiving, patient, kind, gentle, peaceful, and faithful? If we were to ask them about your priorities in life, would they even mention your love for Christ? Would your relationship to Christ only be connected with your busyness at church and maybe even the stress of that busyness? For those who are a parent, would your biggest influence be in your child's spiritual growth, education or extra curricular activities? Is the only influence on your neighbors you choosing not to even know them? What influence did you have on the checkout clerk that was having a bad day? A couple of those things make me swallow hard. Now, again, please do not condemn yourself. Do not let the enemy condemn you. Be willing to acknowledge the conviction of the Holy Spirit, but remember Christ does not condemn.

I do not know about you, but I am ready to stop this cycle of influence and start a cycle of Godly influence. I want generations to be blessed because I choose to not only follow Christ, but to be like Him.

How do we change the influence we have on others? How do we realize the influence we have on others?

1. Choose to have an active, growing relationship with Christ. (You can't be a godly influence without God in your life.)

2. Choose to hold your actions accountable. (These scriptures are a great starting place)

"22But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law." Galatians 5:22-23

"43"You have heard that it was said, 'Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.' 44But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, 45that you may be sons of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. 46If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? 47And if you greet only your brothers, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that? 48Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect. " Matthew 5:43-48

"37Jesus replied: 'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.' 38This is the first and greatest commandment. 39And the second is like it: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' 40All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments." Matthew 22:37-39

3. Choose to be aware of those around you, even those you do not know. Someone is watching.

4. Choose to immediately repent and seek forgiveness when you stumble.

5. Choose to remember you are an influence everywhere you go.

6. Choose daily to be light in this dark world.

7. Choose to remember that one day you want to hear God say, "Well done, my good and faithful servant."

8. Choose to give God all your burdens and stress so you can be a light for Him.

"19 Praise be to the Lord, to God our Savior, who daily bears our burdens. " Psalm 68:19

9. Choose to let the trials bring glory to God by trusting and being faithful to Him.

"2Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. 4Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything...12Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him. " James 1:1-4,12

10. Choose to put this somewhere as a daily reminder.

We have been chosen by God. We will be like Christ or the world. We will influence others to choose Christ or the world. Others watching us, it is not an option. Our choice is the type of influence we will be to them. Let's make the wise choice

Homework

1. Reflect on those you know you have influenced.


2. Think about those you may have not realized you were influencing.


3. Seek and accept forgiveness for the poor influences.


4. Praise God for choosing you.


5. Choose to watch the way you influence today.

What will I choose today?

As I sit here and write it is cloudy and raining outside. It is the anniversary of Sam's accident and the anniversary of the 9-11. I sit here at home today because my client had to cancel and now look to replace the wages lost that were to buy our groceries. All I have been writing about on this blog and even the one my son was writing for his blog on trust will be tested today. So what will I choose?

I chose God this morning before getting out of bed. I chose to put on the armor of God. I chose to cry out to Him because He is my hope today.
My sweet little four year told me to choose to pray as a family this morning, too. (The first school day of each week we start with a family prayer. She sensed we needed an extra one today.)
I chose to open God's Word and read His truths.
I chose to cry a little because today has become a little overwhelming.

Now, my other choices for the day:
To trust or to worry/stress about financial funds lost that were for groceries?
To open my home to other teens this weekend or cancel plans because funds are short?
To mourn over all Sam has lost or celebrate all he has been able to do?
To focus on God or focus on the stress?

I will choose to trust God and His provisions. We have had even less and He provided.
I will choose to let this home and this family serve its purpose. I will open it to these teens because they hunger for something much more than food.
I will choose to celebrate Sam's life and the many blessings God has given us through his injury and those we have been able to help.
I will choose to cry out to God, give Him my worries and keep my eyes on Him today.

Choices will not always be easy. Choices may mean sacrifice. Choices may mean trusting and hoping in something we cannot see or do not know. But we have to choose, we cannot try anymore.

Look back over the previous blogs so far. Do a little accountability check. And then get ready for next week's study on choices. It is going to be tough but good.

And as I finish writing, the sun is peeking through the clouds while it still rains. Isn't God great!!!!

"9 The LORD is a refuge for the oppressed, a stronghold in times of trouble.
10 Those who know your name will trust in you, for you, LORD, have never forsaken those who seek you. 11 Sing praises to the LORD, enthroned in Zion; proclaim among the nations what he has done." Psalm 9:9-11

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"18I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us...

26In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express. 27And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints in accordance with God's will.

31What, then, shall we say in response to this? If God is for us, who can be against us? 32He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all—how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things? 33Who will bring any charge against those whom God has chosen? It is God who justifies. 34Who is he that condemns? Christ Jesus, who died—more than that, who was raised to life—is at the right hand of God and is also interceding for us. 35Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? 36As it is written: "For your sake we face death all day long; we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered." 37No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. 38For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, 39neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord." Romans 8:18,26-27,31-39

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"25"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? 26Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? 27Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?
28"And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. 29Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. 30If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? 31So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' 32For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. 33But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. 34Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." Matthew 6:25-34

Sometimes we have to choose joy

*We are going to take a couple of days off our study and look at another choice



September 11, 1994

Fifteen minutes before a seventeen year old lifeguard's shift ended, he saw a group of adults starting to sink in their paddle boat. He goes in to help...but that dive was into 18 inches of water. He would survive, but never walk again.



September 15, 1999

Hundreds of teenagers celebrate "See You at the Pole" in a church sanctuary. Adults sit around and fellowship in the church foyer. One man walks in and takes eight lives including his own and injures several others.



September 11, 2001

Many of us turn on our TVs to see hundreds of lives trapped in buildings. We watch as those buildings crumble to the ground. We are in shock that so many lives are gone.





All three are great tragedies that no one would choose. Two of those tragedies would affect my own life. The young seventeen year old is the love of my life. The church was my church and it was my friends and church family's lives that were taken or injured.



We do not choose to have tragedy in our lives. Tragedies cause so much emotion that I don't know if we even choose our response in the beginning. But as days, months, years go on; can we choose how we respond?



None of those tragedies were a one day event. Whether it is an injury, trauma or a loss of a loved one, the effects go on for awhile and sometimes forever.



I am going to speak personally.



Tomorrow will be fifteen years since Sam's diving accident. I wish I could say it gets easier, but most days it doesn't. The past few years have even been more difficult as he has more health complications from the injury. Our daily lives continue to be effected by the injury. Sacrifices are made by him, by me and by our kids.

The initial accident is not the only choice we did not get to choose. The injury itself chooses for us at times. Right now it has chosen to take away some of the strength he has had and now he possibly will not regain the strength.

He has had the choice to get up every day for fifteen years and live his life. I made the choice to marry him knowing that I was choosing to take on non-typical roles in our marriage. But if I am going to be truthful, some days those choices are hard. Some days those choices bring tears to my eyes. Some days I want to choose to run away. Some days he wants to choose to give up. And now fifteen years later, we are facing the reality that it may only get more difficult as his strength decreases. More sacrifices will be made. More struggles are to come. How will we choose to respond? On the difficult days, is joy a choice? Is it an option?



Two recent conversations have shown me how I can respond and how I can choose joy. Both were with ladies who have faced many things in their lives. One currently is facing heath issues that keep her in bed some, even most days. Another is caring for a husband who is recovering from his second stroke. But in the midst of their struggles, they will tell you how thankful they are for so many things. Instead of focusing on poor health, she chooses to thank God and find joy in just being alive. The other chooses to look at what she can learn from God through these trials. Are they frustrated? Do they grow tired and want to give up? Yes, but they have chosen where to put their focus. When they get their focus right, they find joy and peace in the trial.

Each day I have to choose where I put my focus. Each day I have to choose to see the blessings. Each day I have to choose to have hope.

Maybe today will be hard. Maybe you miss a loved one, search for a job again today, take care of a sick loved one, struggle with your own illness, start a life as a single parent, deal with a rebellious teen. Maybe you are dealing with all of them at once. But today you will choose to focus on God. You will count the blessing He has given you. You will choose hope because God loves you and is faithful. You will choose joy in the Lord because He is your Provider and never fails. You will choose to do this everyday.

My family has trials. We do not know what the future will bring with Sam's health. We can choose to look back and keep asking why. We can choose to focus on what if? We can focus on what was lost instead of what was gained. But I think I would rather focus on the other things in the above paragraph.

We will mourn, hurt, and suffer in this life. But we still can choose to find hope and joy in the middle of our trials.

"The Lord is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in him, and I am helped. My heart leaps for joy and I will give thanks to him in song. "Psalm 28:7

"Shout for joy, O heavens; rejoice, O earth; burst into song, O mountains! For the Lord comforts his people and will have compassion on his afflicted ones." Isaiah 49:13

"Have mercy on me, O Lord, for I call to you all day long.
Bring joy to your servant, for to you, O Lord, I lift up my soul.
You are forgiving and good, O Lord, abounding in love to all who call to you." Psalm 86:3-5

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. Jeremiah 29:11"

Blog 6 Sec 3b: Choosing What Influences You

Influences in Our Home
Who is the teacher?

Do you have a TV in every room? Is there more than one TV on at a time? Do you not even see your kids because they are in their room with a TV? Who does the most teaching in your house: TV, God’s Word, you?

I am not going to go in to a long conversation about this one. We know the consequence if we spend too much time watching TV, on the computer, or playing video games. We know if we have chosen to spend more time on one of these then having conversations with our family.

I am not going to discuss what TV shows are okay to watch and which ones we should not. We know what is influencing us and what is filling the minds of our family.

I am going to say this:

"Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God. " Colossians 3:1-3


"Therefore, prepare your minds for action; be self-controlled; set your hope fully on the grace to be given you when Jesus Christ is revealed. As obedient children, do not conform to the evil desires you had when you lived in ignorance." 1 Peter 1:13-14


"Fix these words of mine in your hearts and minds; tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads." Deuteronomy 11:18


"Jesus replied: " 'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.' "Matthew 22:37

This is very simple. If we let our minds be flooded with the world, we are going to act like the world. We cannot act surprised that our teen is sexually active if they are watching it on TV all the time. We cannot be surprised that we are not content with our marriage because we want the relationship we see on TV.

Also, if we choose not to participate in the world by watching TV, but do not fill our minds with things of God, our influence is still wrong. You are not teaching yourself or your child completely if you just control what they watch. Even if you are very strict and don't even let your teenager watch PG-13. It is not enough to stop the bad influence; you have to choose to influence them because if you don’t, someone else will.

We ourselves are being influenced nonstop by the world thanks to technology. Our children and grandchildren will be influenced even more. We have only one choice and again; it is not an option.

We must choose to "set on our minds on things above."
We must choose to "prepare our minds for action."
We must choose to "fix these words of God on our minds."
We must choose to "love the Lord with all our mind."

We cannot hide from the world. We are very dependent on technology and will rely on it more and more. We can choose what we fill our minds with and what we fill it with first and the most. You have a choice for yourself and for your family. I beg of you to choose to set your mind on Christ not the world.


Homework
1. Choose to memorize scripture as a family (Matthew 22:37 is a great start)
2. Choose to talk to your children the minute they are in the car
3. Choose to have a sit down family dinner or dessert to talk with no TV
4. Choose worship music over TV in the morning before school
5. Choose to read the Bible together
6. Choose to be your own teacher and your child's

Blog 6 Sec 3a: Choosing What Influences You

Section 3a
Influences on our home

The world has greatly influenced us in our homes. Why else do we have big homes with too much stuff in them? And why do we still want more stuff and bigger homes?

We have believed the lie that we need bigger homes, bigger and more TVs, bigger cars (but the world is changing their view on that one), more clothes, more shoes, more toys, more and more and more. We have chosen to get all that stuff and most of the time we are miserable. We are miserable because we have more house to clean, more things to pick up, more laundry to wash, need more space for all our stuff, don’t get anything accomplished because of our TV and computers and trying to figure out how to pay our big house payment. Or we are miserable because we do not have the bigger house and all the stuff to go in it. We have chosen not to be content. We have been influenced by the grass is always greener.

"For we brought nothing into the world, and we can take nothing out of it. But if we have food and clothing, we will be content with that." 1 Timothy 6:7-8

As we previously discussed, our homes should be a place of refuge, a place of teaching and worship and a place to serve. We can no longer be influenced by what the world says we need. We need to be influenced by what our family/friends need in the home, not want.

Refuge
Is your home such a mess you avoid being home? Do you keep all the doors closed so you don’t have to look at the mess? Do you “sigh” or “ugh” when you walk in your home?

If you continue to choose not to pick up, your house will over take your life. You have to choose to make your home a place of refuge. There are a few choices you can make that will make a difference.

1. Choose to have easy access to everything you need in the morning.

Examples: We all have a bathroom tote like the ones you would carry to the dorm bathroom. Each person has all their morning supplies like toothpaste, toothbrush, deodorant, hairbrush, hair accessories, make up, etc. You pull out your tote, use your stuff and throw it back into the tote. The bathroom cabinet is left clean and free of junk.

Lay out everything the night before or lay out a whole week of clothes out at a time. Have a place to layout yours and others in your home outfits and shoes and bag. It takes a few minutes to lay it out.

2. Choose a quick and easy pick up.

Our weeks may have a very busy schedule. We have to choose to not let our homes show it. If you know yourself or family member can make a mess in a few minutes then have a plan.

Example 1: You may not have time to pick up everything and put it back in its place today. So have a room basket. Instead of letting everything pile on the floor and furniture, take a few minutes to throw it in the room basket. Then, after others go to bed or Saturday morning you can take the basket and put things up. It's much more relaxing to walk into a room that is picked up.

Example 2: You can also try the Family Fifteen before dinner or bedtime. Set a timer and pick up the house at the end of the day. You can compete by splitting up rooms or go room by room together. Whoever picks up the fastest, gets the biggest piece of dessert or gets to pick the family movie or game that weekend.

Choosing to pick up will help your home be a more relaxing place. You will have time to sit and breathe in a picked up house. You will leave your home in a much better condition. And when things are picked up, your home can be a refuge for you or for any last minute friend that needs a place. Your will not worry about opening up your home.

3.Choose to get rid of the junk.

If you have not used it in the past year, if it is broken or missing pieces, if you don’t even know what it is and where it came from…then toss it.

This process can overwhelm quickly. You have to choose to do it in baby steps.
a. Start with a cabinet and clean it out. Have a donate bag, throw away bag, I want to keep it bag and an I need to keep it bag.
b. After sorting, look at your I want to keep it bag. Why? Will you use it in the next couple of months? Is it sentimental? If you will definitely use it then keep it. If it is just special but will have no use, then start a tote that can be stored in an attic or top of a closet.
c.Then put your items that you are keeping back up.

Do a cabinet or closet a weekend or give yourself an hour every week to work on a space.

4. Choose to not buy any more wants for the home until you have de-cluttered.

Do not even go in Ross, TJ Max, or Bed, Bath and Beyond. We have plenty. We live in a country where we are blessed. Be thankful and content with everything you have.

"No more stuff that cause a mess."

Choosing to de-clutter your home will help you enjoy your home and take it one step closer to being a place of refuge.

Homework:
1. Choose to layout things the night before.
2. Choose the Family fifteen or room basket and use it for the week.
3. Choose to de-clutter at least one cabinet or closet this week.

4. Choose to say no to buying any other wants for your home.
5. Choose to make your home a place of refuge not chaos.

Blog 6 Section 2: Choosing What Influences You

Section 2

Influences on Your Physical Appearance

Think for a moment about the different decades and different thin sizes over those decades. Try to not let the hair distract in the eighties. One great example is Daisy Duke from the Dukes of Hazzard. All boys had a crush on the original Daisy and a lot of southern girls wanted to be Daisy. Now compare her to Jessica Simpson as Daisy. The girl had a rigorous workout to pull off that look. Both looked great, but there was a difference in their size. But again the world changes it views on what is hot.

We choose to let the world influence how we look and view ourselves. We either beat ourselves up or go through crash diets to be thin or we choose to take the new approach of the world and say accept me as I am so we don't have to exercise and grab another piece of chocolate.
Both of those choices are wrong. I am not going to focus on your size and weight. There is no scripture telling us what is the right size and weight. So, I want to look at two things: what we know about bodies and where our focus should be.

1 We know our bodies are a temple for the Holy Spirit and we have been chosen by God to serve Him and others. You may have been called to be a mom, serve on a Church staff, serve overseas, be a teacher, be in the workforce full time or maybe for now you are a student. Whatever your calling, you need to be in good physical health. As we talked before, eating right, exercise and rest will affect the work you do for the Lord. We have to choose a healthy lifestyle. We can no longer let the world tell us what size we should be. (If your weight is causing health issues or keeping you from being able to do things, then please seek professional help from a doctor. And that is not just for those who are overweight. Being too thin can hinder you also.)

Look for a moment at The Wife of A Noble Character in Proverbs 31:10-31. She was a busy woman, but we know she had to be in good physical shape. Scripture talks about her arms being strong for her task. If she was getting up early every morning, she had to be getting rest. Now her work alone was probably her workout. But thanks to technology, we do not have as much physical labor. We have to choose to get exercise but it still can be part of something else we are already doing.

If time is an issue then we have to choose a way to make it work in our schedule. Cleaning your house is a workout. Go for a walk with family or friends while talking about the day. Dance around the living room by yourself or with your kids. Play a sport you use to enjoy. Exercise while watching TV. While at your kids practice, don’t sit and talk, get up and walk. Stop waiting until you can get to the gym, choose to put it in your schedule.

2. If we are consumed about the way we look, it takes our focus off God. We are comparing ourselves to the models we see instead of comparing ourselves to Christ. We let those people on TV have way to much influence. We cannot let complete strangers make us feel ugly or be comfortable with a weight that is unhealthy.

Our focus has to change and we cannot let the focus consume us. Choose to take care of your health because you belong to God not to this world. (John 15:19)

Homework:
1. Remind yourself you are chosen by God and made in His image.
2. Be honest if your weight or lack of exercise is affecting your health. Choose to get professional help if needed.
3. Look at the time you focus and complain about your looks. Choose to see who you are in Christ.
4. Go have fun with friends or family by doing something active. Choose to turn off the TV and be active.

Blog 6 Sect. 1: Choosing what influences you

Black is out because purple is the new black but just for the Fall.

Mr. Mom is not just a movie anymore it is the new thing.

Thin models are out and the natural everyday model is in.

The old is the new.

These are this month's headlines...I wonder which ones will be old news by October. I don't know about you, but keeping up with the world takes too much time and effort. And just when you have it...it changes. It makes me want to scream!!

We have chosen to let the world and those in the world influence us. We want to know what to do, what to think and how to look. So, we read books and magazines; watch Dr. Phil, Oprah and the latest design show; or we just google it. But some of those influences are taking our eyes off the truth. The enemy is filling us with lies. I am not talking about the new black for the season. (That is probably just someone pulling a color out of a hat.) I am talking about those influences that lead you to make choices that cause you to take your eyes off Christ and add stress to your life.

Section 1

Influence on our Personal roles

The world definitely tries to influence us and who we are supposed to be. In the fifties, the woman was a happy homemaker until the feminist movement and then we wanted equality, then we took it further. We were going to be Wonder Woman and be moms, wives, a career professional and look good while we did it all. While the men have been told to be the main provider (sometimes only provider) of the family. But now it is hip to be a Mr. Mom. I don't know about you, but the world confuses me.

We have to choose not to let the world influence our roles and who we are. All, well at least most of us, have some part of us that wants to please people, wants to be cool, wants what others have or wants to be like someone else. Consequently, we began to make our choices based on these influences. So we end up stressed trying to measure up to someone, killing ourselves trying to have it all, or trying to make everyone else happy. Then we find ourselves in the cycle of stress that leads to our messy lives that leads to more stress.

So how do we choose to get out of that cycle? First we have to be honest with ourselves and ask ourselves some questions.

1.Why am I trying to carrying so much on my plate?

2.Who am I modeling or striving to be?

3.Am I choosing to do these things for others or because I feel I have to help?

4.Are my choices influenced by my desire to feed my own pride? (gulp)

5.Who/what is influencing how I prioritize my choices?

I will give you a few minutes to really think about those answers. Please be honest and don't justify any choices. Open and honest answers.

Here are some possible answers:

1. We carry so much on our plate because the world told us we can do it all; we were made to feel guilty because we can't say no to a church activity; the word no is not in our vocabulary; spending habits have led to debt and you have to work full time; you want the lifestyle for you and your family because you believe it will make you happy...

2. Our best friend, the person who sits in front of us at church every week, our co-worker, sister, spouse, a TV character, the perfect person in our head

3. I am Christian so I have to help everyone all the time and do everything at church. If I say no, I will lose friends. I have to work this job so my family can have it all.

4. If I give more, I am still a good person. If I buy all these things for my kids, I will look like a good mom. If I take on all these roles, people will be amazed and want to be me.

5. It is all church activities so it is okay we have no family time. The world says I need the bigger house and my kids need all that stuff. My kids want all these things so I have to work to give it to them.

Does some of this sound ridiculous when you say it aloud? Are you shaking your head because you let yourself be influenced? Or maybe you are still arguing and justifying your choices and how it will get better.

It is time to go back to the truth. We were chosen by God. God gives each one of us talents/gifts. We are part of a body, not the whole thing. We are to be training our children in the Lord. If we are married, we belong to our spouse and our spouse to us. We each have roles in that marriage and as parents. We have responsibility to care for those who cannot care for themselves in our family.

What should be our choices?

1.Choose to use your talent/gift for God (1 Corinthians 12)

2. Choose to be your part of the Body of Christ not everyone else's. (1 Corinthians 12)

3.Choose to make training your child a priority not an option at the bottom of the list (Deut 6:7-9, Proverbs 22:6)

4. Choose to make time with your spouse a priority(Eph 5:22-33)

5.Choose to fulfill your role in your marriage (Eph 5:22-33)

6. Choose not to be influenced by anything other than God and those He may use to speak (that does not mean just anyone at church)

What have you added to your life that you don't need or have put as a priority? What are you doing that maybe someone else has been called to do? What sacrifice has your family made because of your choices? Let's stop the cycle.

Your assignment is:

1. Learn your spiritual gift so you can choose to use it

2. Train your child today even if something else has to be bumped

3. Pray with your spouse and have some coffee or ice cream together

4. Know your role and look for ways you fulfill it and ways you don't

5. Spend time listening to God while you seek His will for how you spend your time and days (look in His Word)

6. Be willing to get rid of some of the mess in your life and prioritize your schedule. And stop doing what you don't have to do or are not called to do.

If you are struggling with what needs to go or how to balance it more, please email me or share with a comment and let's see if we can get rid of some of the stress.

Blog 5: Choosing Your Priorities

A young mom gets up fixes breakfast and gets her kids to school. She goes off to work until time to pick up the kids. They run home for snack and homework. After a quick change they are off to soccer practice and dance class. They get back home, have dinner, shower and go to bed.

The mom in that story seems to be a loving and caring mom. She seems to be taking care of her kids. But are her priorities correct? Did she choose to prioritize her life according to scripture or the world? What she, you or I choose for ourselves or for others may not be bad, but it may not be right.

You are very smart and know your number one priority should be God. So the question is how do we choose to make God our number one choice in our

personal life,

physical life,

and home life?

1. Personal life

We touched on putting God first in our day in Blog 2. I hope you have made that choice. The next choice is choosing to spend quality time in His Word and in His truth. Whether it is time reflecting on one verse, reading a passage of scripture or doing a bible study, we must choose to be in His Word. How can we make other choices in life if we do not know what God's Word says?

"I have hidden your word in my heart that I might not sin against you." Psalm 119:11

So you know this fact. You may even have this verse memorized, but finding the time is hard. As I have said before, we need to stop trying. When we are sick, we eventually schedule a doctor's appointment so we may get better. We want a healthy mouth so we schedule a dentist appointment. We want healthy hair or a change in style, we schedule a hair appointment. We want to be able to see when we drive or read, so we schedule an eye appointment. Why not schedule our time with God and His Word? Do we not need our hearts healed, sins forgiven, our tongues tamed, our eyes to see clearly?

Maybe you are thinking if you schedule it, it will mean less or not be personal. At times it might not be, but as you read His truths, His promises, His love for you; will your heart not change? Will you not began to desire Him? You choose a time for you and God, you choose to make Him a priority, you will see God in your life. Now choose a time. It may different or the same each day. It might be at a meal time, in the morning, during nap time, in the evening before bed (yes that would mean God over TV). Choose the time and choose to stick with it. Your spiritual health and growth depend on it.

2. Physical
How do choose to make God a priority in your physical life? Are your choices a direct sin against the body? Do you choose to consume too much junk through food, tv, music or the internet? Do you choose to concentrate too much on physical appearance? Do you choose not to get enough rest and exercise? (Read Romans 12:1-2, 1 Corinthians 6:12-20, Proverbs 31:17,25,30)

If you have chosen to commit a direct sin against the body through sexual immorality then you need to immediately choose to stop. It is not an option. It will mess you up in so many ways if you choose to continue down that path. Choose to be one with God and your spouse only. Stop and go before God right now. Confess your choices, repent and flee from them. If you are a child of God, you will be forgiven. Choose to honor God with your body.

If we are so busy staring at our physical image in the mirror, we are not looking to see if we reflect God. Our physical looks consume us. We have chosen to give them control. We choose to focus on our physical flaws and let the enemy direct all our attention to those flaws. We choose to spend time, energy and money on our physical beauty instead of our inner beauty. Our physical appearance is our priority but it should not be.

We must choose to take care of our physical bodies. We must choose to exercise, get plenty of rest and eat healthy. We must choose not to focus on the image of our physical bodies, but the health. Our health affects our energy and stamina which affects our ability to minister and serve others. We choose to have a healthy life by scheduling exercise.

3. Home
What priority does your home reflect: God or the world? By sounds? By actions? By schedules?

You have chosen to make school a priority for yourself or for your kids. You have chosen extracurricular activities that become priorities because of the time dedicated to them. Have you chosen to put God as a priority in your home?

School work is not option. We have made sports and/or other activities at any age not an option. So why is choosing time as family to pray , study God's word together, fellowship as a family an option? It is not. Read Deuteronomy 6:1-9.

Your priority in the home is given to you.

"IMPRESS, TALK, TIE, WRITE"

What your child learns at school, on the football field, in dance class, on the TV will not prepare them for the trials and temptations of life. If you are a parent or will be one day...you do not have a choice, you have a command. And the command is not just take them to church. Choosing not to put God as your first priority in your life will have consequences. Those consequences will be your child's.
I have worked in children's ministry for 11 years. As of this year, I am a mother of a high schooler and a second one that will soon be a middle schooler plus two younger ones. I have heard and seen more from my own and other's children. The issues that I have seen them deal with should not be issues any child should have. I could make your jaw drop from conversations I have had with nine year olds. The world has thrown them into adulthood too soon. (and you cannot shelter them from it all in today's world and eventually they leave home.) They need to be prepared for these things. They need to know the truth and how to stand up for what is right and what is pure. They need a spirit that will convict and help them turn back. You have to choose to

"IMPRESS, TALK, TIE, WRITE" (Deut 6:7-9)

You will choose to schedule family devotionals. You will choose to at least once a week pray together as a family (my four year old holds our family accountable to that one.) You will choose to sit down at a meal and not only discuss the happenings of the day, but how you can pray for one another and how to handle situations according to God. You will choose to hold each other accountable in your personal prayer and study time. You will choose to provide your child with material to learn God's truths on a daily basis. You will choose to schedule these things first.

You do everything to make sure your child does well in school. You spend time with them on homework or practicing on their extra activities. Now choose to spend your time and energy on the biggest priority: their walk with God.

"Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it."

Proverbs 22:6

How will your priorities in your home train your child?

A mom rises before others and comes before the Lord in prayer. She prays over her kids while she makes breakfast and helps them get ready. She asks how she can pray for them today. They worship together in the car on the way to school. After school, they tackle homework and on the way to practice discuss decisions the kids made today and if they reflected God. But her son is facing big temptation and going through a trial. Okay, they miss practice so they can talk. At dinner the family laughs about the silly happenings of the day and everyone shares a prayer request for the next day. Each family member prays for another one. Showers began and while one child takes his shower another reads his daily devotional.

Does the story at the beginning reflect you or the one at the end? Simple choices that do not take much time, impact us greatly. What priority will you choose? And if you are not a parent or married yet, what priorities will you have now so you will be prepared for that step in your life? If your children are grown, how can you choose priorities that will still train your children? Maybe just an email with scripture and a prayer will help.

Before our next step...

We have spent time looking at the choice that matters the most: God. I wanted to make this point clear before we got into anything else. Now we are about to get into other choices and the mess and stress they have caused. We will discuss how to make different choices to get rid of some of the mess and stress.


Please make sure you never forget the first choice you make each day and choosing to make God a priority in your life and home.
As the next blogs come, you can read it will be split into the 3 sections. We will discuss choices and have steps to apply in each section. If you do not have a Bible with you, you can go to http://www.biblegateway.com/ to look up scripture. Some days may be a lot to swallow, some days you will be so ready for change it will be easy. The most important thing you can choose to do is start your day before God. Dealing with some of these topics will require humbleness and willingness to hear the truth. So continue to choose God first and choose to go on this journey. We are going to choose to clean up the mess and stress we have created in our lives and homes.

If you are joining me on this journey, please sign up as a follower, add a comment or email me. I want to be able to pray for you by name each day as you go on this journey.
And for now rejoice in His truth.

"For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. " Jeremiah 29:11

"Keep me as the apple of your eye; hide me in the shadow of your wings" Psalm 17:8

"You are forgiving and good, O Lord, abounding in love to all who call to you." Psalm 86:5

"He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty. I will say of the Lord, 'He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I will trust." Psalm 91:1-2