I hear so often people say we do not do Santa. I am perfectly fine if you do not do Santa or if you do Santa. I do hope you choose to share the story of Saint Nicholas and choose the spirit of giving. But my question to you is not whether you choose Santa or not; it is do you choose Jesus at Christmas?
Just choosing not to do Santa does not make your holiday more religious. You have to choose to make a point of putting Jesus at the center of the holidays. I am not just talking about being at church more. You have a month to make Jesus, God's gift to you, the focus of your family. It is the easiest time of year to do so.
I would like to share some of the choices we have made to make Jesus the center. We do a Santa gift on Christmas morning, but we put a daily focus on God's gift to us everyday for the next month.
1. Choose to do a Jesus Stocking.
We have a Jesus stocking every Christmas. It helps us focus on giving back to Christ. It opens conversations on things we can do for Christ. As we buy gifts or food for the less fortunate, carol at a Nursing home, etc, we write it down and put it in the stocking. It is very important we do not become consumed about getting but instead giving. All my kids truly enjoy doing for others and Jesus.
2. Choose to use your decorations to tell the greatest story.
I have made several choices in our decorations to help us remember God's gift.
We not only have nice nativity sets, but a Fisher Price set also. Since the kids were little they can play and act out the story at anytime. It sits under our tree along with children's books telling the story. As presents fill up underneath the tree, it becomes a nice distraction and puts the focus back on God's gift to us.
We choose to use our tree to tell the story. We have white lights with red and gold balls. We use the tree to remind us of the cross, the red balls to remember the blood shed, white lights to remind us of the purity of Christ and how He makes us pure, and the gold balls to remember the promise of eternity with Christ. During the first week, we will tell the story and remind the kids how each thing can remind them of God's gift.
3. Choose to do Advent at home.
Some of you may have a church that does Advent, but I encourage you to do it at home also. This year we have ours on the dinner table. Each Sunday we will discuss what each candle represents and light that candle every night at dinner to keep our focus on what that candle represents. For example, we will talk about the hope we have in Christ each night this week.
4.Choose Candy Canes.
This is one of the best ways to tell the story of Christ. We have candy canes in our house plus even candy cane candles. One night we will read the story of the candy cane. Even the littlest child will repeat what the candy cane represents. It is so much fun to hear your little one tell the story to someone else.
5. Choose to take time for the greatest gift on Christmas Eve.
Even if you attend a Christmas Eve service, I highly recommend to have your own age appropriate one at home. We sit around our tree by candle light and tree lights and use our little nativity set to tell the story as we read from the Bible. We usually sing Away In A Manger and Silent Night. And we usually fill the Jesus stocking, too.
You can also celebrate by having a birthday cake.
Choosing to do Santa at Christmas will not keep your child from knowing about the greatest gift, but choosing not to put a focus on Christ in your home will. Choose to take 5-10 minutes every night to celebrate the greatest gift.
Books to help (all these stay under our tree):
The ADVENTure of Christmas by Lisa Whelchel (It covers everything. It is a must have and can get you through the whole season)
The Candymaker's Gift by David and Helen Haidle (The Candy Cane Story)
That's Not All I Want for Christmas by Sue Buchanan & Lynn Hodges (It is a story of a little girl who gets selfish at Christmas. It even has discussion tips and ideas in the back of the book.)
Little Boys Bible Christmas Story Book (girls version too)
Nativity books
Monday, November 30, 2009
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
Choosing to De-Clutter Your Life
You are stressed. You have too many things to do and not enough hours in the day. Just when you are about to catch up some catastrophe happens followed by another one and you are behind again. And you feel all alone trying to handle all the chaos. Inside your mind you are screaming, "HELP!!!!!"
Does your life have to be chaotic? No. Have you made choices that has made your life chaotic? Yes. Has life thrown things at you that you could not avoid adding stress to your life? Yes. Are you willing to make the choices to de-clutter and de-stress your life? I hope you honestly answer yes.
1. Choose not to procrastinate.
I can hear you now. I try not to. I don't want to but I just do. It is not my fault, it is my family or friends.
One: stop saying you will try. Remember it is a choice. Choose to do it.
Two: stop blaming that there is too much to do. If you spend anytime on the computer (facebook, youtube, google, etc), talk or text your friends, play on your phone, watch TV, read a magazine or book on how to have an organized life, etc; you have time to take care of priorities first.
The longer you procrastinate, the more that piles up and the more chaotic it becomes. If you stay on top of things it does not have time to get overwhelming.
2. Choose to prioritize.
It is very simple. God comes first. You have to put Him first for anything in life to come together. If you are still choosing not to start your day with Him and grow in your relationship then you need to go back to square one.
Next, you need to take care of yourself. Most of us put our self last. That is a big mistake when it comes to our health. You need to make sure you are exercising, eating healthy and getting enough rest. You need energy and strength to get through the day. Make choices that will give you what you need.
Family comes next. You are your child's primary teacher. You are your spouse's best friend. You are your parent's student and/or helper (depending on your age). If work, extra activities, keep you from these roles then it is time to re-evaluate. And driving your kid from one event to the next is not teaching them anything but how to be over scheduled. (Think about that for a moment. Are you setting your child up for success if they are overbooked with activities, eating on the run and not getting enough rest. Is that helping them succeed at life or teaching them to repeat the cycle of an overbooked stressful life? You say all of it is for their benefit but is it? What is going to help them have true happiness?)
3. Choose to be involved in church but not overbooked with church
Part of your relationship with Christ is fellowship, worshipping, learning and serving with other believers. It is a very important part of your Spiritual development. But that does not mean church should take you out of your home and away from your family at all times. If your church has activities several times a week, it is ok not to do it all.
You need to worship with others, you need to learn from others. With the church you need to serve others and fellowship with others for encouragement and prayer. But if it takes you out of your role at home and from being the spiritual leader in your home then you need to scale back. Be involved; not overwhelmed.
4. Choose activities carefully.
We all have things we love to do. Our kids have things they love to do. But you need to choose a certain amount and you need to choose a certain amount for your children. You cannot overbook yourself or your kids.
You need to choose activities that do not take you out of the home at the wrong time too often. For example, being gone at dinner on a regular is not a good thing.
You need to choose activities that do not put commitments on your child as if they were a professional athlete or musician when they are only seven. Let your child play sports or be involved in something they love. But not one that requires too much time and commitment at a young age. I highly recommend finding an Upward League or one similar. Your child learns skills and has fun, but not over committed and adding stress to family life.
If it keeps you from family dinners, getting enough rest, time for homework, time to play as a family, time to pray and study God's word together then is it beneficial to you and your child? Do you lose the enjoyment because it adds too much stress? Evaluate the benefits and stress. If the only benefit is the hope of your child possibly becoming the next Troy Aikman or Mozart then maybe they can wait or find another way to learn the skill.
You choose what is important everyday by how you prioritize your life. If you are not prioritizing it but overbooking it, you are missing out on life and most importantly your family and God. Just because the world has chosen to be busy does not mean you have to choose the same. Take a step back. Maybe even become a little old fashion. Choose to enjoy your life, your family, your friends, your God.
Does your life have to be chaotic? No. Have you made choices that has made your life chaotic? Yes. Has life thrown things at you that you could not avoid adding stress to your life? Yes. Are you willing to make the choices to de-clutter and de-stress your life? I hope you honestly answer yes.
1. Choose not to procrastinate.
I can hear you now. I try not to. I don't want to but I just do. It is not my fault, it is my family or friends.
One: stop saying you will try. Remember it is a choice. Choose to do it.
Two: stop blaming that there is too much to do. If you spend anytime on the computer (facebook, youtube, google, etc), talk or text your friends, play on your phone, watch TV, read a magazine or book on how to have an organized life, etc; you have time to take care of priorities first.
The longer you procrastinate, the more that piles up and the more chaotic it becomes. If you stay on top of things it does not have time to get overwhelming.
2. Choose to prioritize.
It is very simple. God comes first. You have to put Him first for anything in life to come together. If you are still choosing not to start your day with Him and grow in your relationship then you need to go back to square one.
Next, you need to take care of yourself. Most of us put our self last. That is a big mistake when it comes to our health. You need to make sure you are exercising, eating healthy and getting enough rest. You need energy and strength to get through the day. Make choices that will give you what you need.
Family comes next. You are your child's primary teacher. You are your spouse's best friend. You are your parent's student and/or helper (depending on your age). If work, extra activities, keep you from these roles then it is time to re-evaluate. And driving your kid from one event to the next is not teaching them anything but how to be over scheduled. (Think about that for a moment. Are you setting your child up for success if they are overbooked with activities, eating on the run and not getting enough rest. Is that helping them succeed at life or teaching them to repeat the cycle of an overbooked stressful life? You say all of it is for their benefit but is it? What is going to help them have true happiness?)
3. Choose to be involved in church but not overbooked with church
Part of your relationship with Christ is fellowship, worshipping, learning and serving with other believers. It is a very important part of your Spiritual development. But that does not mean church should take you out of your home and away from your family at all times. If your church has activities several times a week, it is ok not to do it all.
You need to worship with others, you need to learn from others. With the church you need to serve others and fellowship with others for encouragement and prayer. But if it takes you out of your role at home and from being the spiritual leader in your home then you need to scale back. Be involved; not overwhelmed.
4. Choose activities carefully.
We all have things we love to do. Our kids have things they love to do. But you need to choose a certain amount and you need to choose a certain amount for your children. You cannot overbook yourself or your kids.
You need to choose activities that do not take you out of the home at the wrong time too often. For example, being gone at dinner on a regular is not a good thing.
You need to choose activities that do not put commitments on your child as if they were a professional athlete or musician when they are only seven. Let your child play sports or be involved in something they love. But not one that requires too much time and commitment at a young age. I highly recommend finding an Upward League or one similar. Your child learns skills and has fun, but not over committed and adding stress to family life.
If it keeps you from family dinners, getting enough rest, time for homework, time to play as a family, time to pray and study God's word together then is it beneficial to you and your child? Do you lose the enjoyment because it adds too much stress? Evaluate the benefits and stress. If the only benefit is the hope of your child possibly becoming the next Troy Aikman or Mozart then maybe they can wait or find another way to learn the skill.
You choose what is important everyday by how you prioritize your life. If you are not prioritizing it but overbooking it, you are missing out on life and most importantly your family and God. Just because the world has chosen to be busy does not mean you have to choose the same. Take a step back. Maybe even become a little old fashion. Choose to enjoy your life, your family, your friends, your God.
Thursday, November 12, 2009
De-cluttering: Choosing Not to Justify
Before we get into actual de-cluttering of our life and home, we are going to be honest about our justification of what we allow in our minds, lives and homes. You cannot lose the mess and stress until you stop justifying everything.
For example, a student failed a test. She knew she would be having the test, but after failing it completely blamed the teacher. She said it was not her fault because the teacher did not teach. The question I asked: if she had a book and notes to study. She said yes but chose not to use them. So can she justify failing because she did not have the best teacher, but had all the resources?
A young wife and mom becomes addicted to a TV show about a young single woman. The young woman is living what looks to be the perfect life. She has the cutest and most romantic boyfriend. She is a successful business woman. She spends every night going out and having fun. The young mom never misses an episode and talks about the character all the time like she is a real person. The mom says there is no harm in this show. She justifies watching it because it comes on at 7 p.m. and nothing bad comes on that early. But eventually she is dressing like the character and starts acting like her. Sadly, she eventually even falls for a man and cheats on her husband. After months of justifying the show and denying the effects, her whole life fell apart.
A family has a dream of owning a home. They want a home with lots of room. Due to the easiness of qualifying for a mortgage they buy their dream home even though they know it is really more than they can afford. They justify by saying they will be making more next year or they will use it to serve God by opening it to others. Once they have the home they run up credit cards to buy all new furniture. They justify it again. Now they can never enjoy their home because they are stressing on how to pay all the bills.
A person looks at pornography on the computer. He justifies it as a moment of weakness. A couple years later looks at it again justifying it to himself as a result of stress. But this time a job is lost because of the addiction.
A house is covered in laundry and clutter. In some rooms you can barely walk. A stay at home mom justifies not picking up because she needs to be with the kids. But she watches every Soap Opera that comes on TV.
Credit Card debt is now higher than their income. They are continuing to spend money on things for themselves and for others. They never take the time to have a budget. They live beyond their means. They justify it because they are buying all this stuff because it makes them and their kids happy. Yet they are so miserable now because of the financial stress.
A sixteen year old kid decides after growing up in church, he will no longer go. The parent blames the youth minister for not reaching out enough. But the parent has not one time in sixteen years prayed with their child or spent anytime developing their child's spiritual walk.
All of the above stories are true. I could give a name or names to each of them. You may be able to give names to some of them. It may be your own name.
I share each of the stories for a reason. We as a society have become professionals on justifying our actions. We justify so we do not have to admit we have made a bad choice. We all make bad choices. We have made choices based on what the world says is ok, not God. That alone has become our biggest justification.
I plead with you to not justify anymore actions as we continue to de-clutter. Be sensitive to the Holy Spirit not the lies of the enemy. If you are making an excuse in your head why it is ok to watch a show full of sex scenes then you are trying to justify your actions. If it requires an excuse then you probably need to stop or change what you are doing.
Go back over the questions and the last blog. Choose not to justify, but listen to God and His truth. And the next couple of blogs do the same. Maybe you need to go back and read more again because you were justifying your actions and thoughts.
We must choose to stop justifying and stop this cycle. The next generation has already started justifying their actions, thoughts and even disrespect. If it is not Christ like we cannot justify it any more. And praise God for shedding his blood so we may be forgiven and for His grace.
For example, a student failed a test. She knew she would be having the test, but after failing it completely blamed the teacher. She said it was not her fault because the teacher did not teach. The question I asked: if she had a book and notes to study. She said yes but chose not to use them. So can she justify failing because she did not have the best teacher, but had all the resources?
A young wife and mom becomes addicted to a TV show about a young single woman. The young woman is living what looks to be the perfect life. She has the cutest and most romantic boyfriend. She is a successful business woman. She spends every night going out and having fun. The young mom never misses an episode and talks about the character all the time like she is a real person. The mom says there is no harm in this show. She justifies watching it because it comes on at 7 p.m. and nothing bad comes on that early. But eventually she is dressing like the character and starts acting like her. Sadly, she eventually even falls for a man and cheats on her husband. After months of justifying the show and denying the effects, her whole life fell apart.
A family has a dream of owning a home. They want a home with lots of room. Due to the easiness of qualifying for a mortgage they buy their dream home even though they know it is really more than they can afford. They justify by saying they will be making more next year or they will use it to serve God by opening it to others. Once they have the home they run up credit cards to buy all new furniture. They justify it again. Now they can never enjoy their home because they are stressing on how to pay all the bills.
A person looks at pornography on the computer. He justifies it as a moment of weakness. A couple years later looks at it again justifying it to himself as a result of stress. But this time a job is lost because of the addiction.
A house is covered in laundry and clutter. In some rooms you can barely walk. A stay at home mom justifies not picking up because she needs to be with the kids. But she watches every Soap Opera that comes on TV.
Credit Card debt is now higher than their income. They are continuing to spend money on things for themselves and for others. They never take the time to have a budget. They live beyond their means. They justify it because they are buying all this stuff because it makes them and their kids happy. Yet they are so miserable now because of the financial stress.
A sixteen year old kid decides after growing up in church, he will no longer go. The parent blames the youth minister for not reaching out enough. But the parent has not one time in sixteen years prayed with their child or spent anytime developing their child's spiritual walk.
All of the above stories are true. I could give a name or names to each of them. You may be able to give names to some of them. It may be your own name.
I share each of the stories for a reason. We as a society have become professionals on justifying our actions. We justify so we do not have to admit we have made a bad choice. We all make bad choices. We have made choices based on what the world says is ok, not God. That alone has become our biggest justification.
I plead with you to not justify anymore actions as we continue to de-clutter. Be sensitive to the Holy Spirit not the lies of the enemy. If you are making an excuse in your head why it is ok to watch a show full of sex scenes then you are trying to justify your actions. If it requires an excuse then you probably need to stop or change what you are doing.
Go back over the questions and the last blog. Choose not to justify, but listen to God and His truth. And the next couple of blogs do the same. Maybe you need to go back and read more again because you were justifying your actions and thoughts.
We must choose to stop justifying and stop this cycle. The next generation has already started justifying their actions, thoughts and even disrespect. If it is not Christ like we cannot justify it any more. And praise God for shedding his blood so we may be forgiven and for His grace.
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
De-cluttering the Mind
How much is too much? TV? Music? News? Fictional Books? Does it really affect our mind and thoughts? Does fantasy change our reality? Or can we watch and listen to anything without consequences? Is all that info in our minds doing us any good?
We could debate a lot of these things. But for now I want to only approach what is in your mind and see if it needs de-cluttering and reorganization itself.
Answer these questions: how many secular songs can you sing by heart? How many lines can you quote from TV or movies? How many scenes can you reenact or describe in detail? How many passwords and phone numbers are stored in your mind? How many issues are you stressing over in your mind right now? How many scriptures can you quote? How many scriptures enter your mind when facing trials?
If the last two questions have the lowest number then you have a mind that needs de-cluttering. If it is even the same amount then you still have a problem.
Your mind is filled with so much info. Someone has been filling it with something since you were born. But unfortunately somewhere along the way, filling it with God's Word took a back seat. And some of us are really good at memorizing something only for the moment, just long enough to pass the test. Yet, we remember and store in our mind useless or only wanted information. It is time to de-clutter and fill our heads with tools.
1. Choose to memorize scripture.
Either as a family or with a friend. Memorize and engrave God's Word in your mind. Scripture is the sword and you will need it for battle. And you and I both know you will have battles and temptations. Why not be prepared? Would go to war without a weapon? Would you fight a bear or lion with nothing? Of course not. This is not an option either.
2. Choose to limit and/or stop the junk.
I am not going to list specific shows, books or movies. The one thing that is not an option and cannot be justified is porn on any level. If that is filling your mind daily or occasionally, repent and find some accountability to completely avoid it.
If what you watch, read or listen to causes you to lust, covet, stumble, have hatred, sexually impure thoughts, use foul language, or anything that is a sin even if it is just in your mind...stop watching it, stop reading it, stop listening to it.
You may have to check yourself as you watch or read certain things. You may be so acclimated that you do not realize how they cause you to sin. You may covet a relationship on TV, you may think too often of your favorite male character, you may sing a song filled with lustful thoughts because you like the style. The enemy is deceitful and full of tricks. He is using all these things to cause you to sin and bring you further into the world and further away from God. What junk do you need out of your mind?
3. Choose to fill it up with love, truth and joy.
We all too quickly fill our minds with lies. We believe the worst in ourselves, our lives, and others. We must know the truth about who we are in Christ in our minds. We must fill our minds with the truth about His love. And we must fill our minds with everything we have to be thankful for each day.
Put a note on your bathroom mirror or dashboard reminding you of these things. Let them soak up in your mind every day.
4. Choose to give God your burdens and stress.
I hate to ask, but how much time of the day do you and I spend worrying? Why do those worries consume our thoughts? We do not have to carry these burdens. They do not have to consume our every waking moment. When those worries and stresses come, we have to choose not to worry. Lift it up to God in prayer. It may mean every five minutes, but we have to choose to give it to God. We have to trust in Him. We cannot let the worry consume us because we might miss His answer to the problem.
(you can use one of these to memorize first):
Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things.
Colossians 3:2
Therefore, prepare your minds for action; be self-controlled; set your hope fully on the grace to be given you when Jesus Christ is revealed.
1 Peter 1:13
Jesus replied: " 'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.'a]">[a]
Matthew 22:37
But I am afraid that just as Eve was deceived by the serpent's cunning, your minds may somehow be led astray from your sincere and pure devotion to Christ.
2 Corinthians 11:3
25"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? 26Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? 27Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life[a]?
28"And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. 29Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. 30If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? 31So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' 32For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. 33But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. 34Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.Matthew 6:25-34
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
Decluttering: Choosing What Consumes Our Minds, Lives and Homes
First let me apologize for being a week behind. But I am glad to be back and am ready to de-clutter.
We are going to start by taking a survey of what consumes our thoughts, lives and homes. I encourage you to write down your answers or save them on your computer. You will need to look back at them throughout the week. What is filling our minds, lives and homes can strengthen us or cause us a lot of stress. I want to help you find strength instead of mess and stress.
Let's began our survey:
We are going to start by taking a survey of what consumes our thoughts, lives and homes. I encourage you to write down your answers or save them on your computer. You will need to look back at them throughout the week. What is filling our minds, lives and homes can strengthen us or cause us a lot of stress. I want to help you find strength instead of mess and stress.
Let's began our survey:
- What music do you listen to the most? (classical, country, rap, rock, soothing, praise and worship) How much time a day do you listen to it?
- What do you watch ? (news, comedy, dramas, reality, horror, sci-fi, home channels, educational, sports, youtube, porn)How much time a week do you watch TV, movies, or something on the computer?
- What do you read? (bible, devotionals, romance, thrillers, drama, true stories, fiction, non-fiction, religious) How much time do you spend reading of each?
- What type of friends give you the most advice? (non-christian, christian, an active follower of Christ)
- How much time do you sit and be quiet and listen for God?
- How much time do you spend at home between 7 am and 10 pm?
- How much time do you spend driving in the car?
- How much sleep do you average a night?
- How many activities besides work and school are you and/or your family members involved in? How many hours does it involve a week? (be accurate it and add it up.)
- What are your priorities in the week? (extra activities, family, work, school, home, church, etc)
- If you answered church to number ten, why is it a priority and what are you doing while there?
- How much time do you exercise in a week?
- How many sit down family meals do you eat a week?
- How much time do you take for yourself a week?
- How much time do you spend picking out clothes? (OK that one was just to be funny)
- What is on the floors in your house?
- Where is your laundry?
- Where do you keep all the movies and video games?
- How many dirty dishes are in your sink right now?
- Do you know where the remote is?
- Can you open a closet door without something falling on you?
- Where in your house has the most clutter? (bedroom, living room, kitchen, garage)
- When is the last time you went through things and got rid of things you have not used the past year?
- What place to you hate to be in your house because of stuff?
- Do you buy things because you like them or need them? Do you justify why you need them?
I hope you were honest so we can look at these things the next few days. I would love to know some of your answers to help me be more specific the rest of the week. You can anonymously put your answers on comments at the end of the blog. Make sure you answer all questions and are specific. We will began de-cluttering tomorrow.
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